now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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