You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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