his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
