lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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