loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize