Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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