Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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