i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Randomize
