I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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