so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
