I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
