rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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