You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
