a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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