He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
