I just saw a hot homeless man
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize