I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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