You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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