just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pants are for mortals
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
