what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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