Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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