The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
