Its about making memories worth repressing
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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