Pants 0. Shit 1.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
