Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Randomize