everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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