Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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