she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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