Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have aggressive nipples.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
