rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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