i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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