If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
