we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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