just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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