she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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