hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
