Tell her she can't have a vagina
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
