Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
