Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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