i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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