You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
