I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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