I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
