gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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