Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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