you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
