Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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