U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
