New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize