so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
