Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
