Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
