two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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