The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
