She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
