Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
