He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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