that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
