i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
