what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
