I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
