I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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