drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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