trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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