Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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