piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
