I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize