apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
