Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
