Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
