he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize