And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
