these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
